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And, you can't pull a switch while your hands are full of resentment. I do think you might need some outside help. I'm not sure you're currently in a place to decide whether or not he's worth it. As far as the different levels of contentment, that could be completely at the of personality types. Some people are determinedly or habitually content unless there is a serious problem causing them discomfort. Others are more prone to noticing things they want improved and letting that cause dissatisfaction with what currently is. I'm guessing you fall in that category, along with me.
I'd like to think it's just cuz were committed to personal growth though. People are like trees. The longer two people are together, the more the two trees grow together. Branches, roots inter-twine, eventually the tree trunks start to grow together.
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Eventually you'll find yourself growing over the exposed parts, filling in the gaps, feeling whole again. It takes time and a lot of self-care.